If you’re worried and upset over how your parents are doing in their old age, then you need to examine why you feel this way. I know you believe you’re being caring. You can’t understand how ungrateful your parents are! So many have forced their parents to move, make huge changes, but often it’s not what they want.
You may notice that the more stressed out both you and your parents are, the worse your relationship gets. You may also notice that as that deteriorates, so does your collective health. It’s all about the way you feel. Worry fear, anger, frustration, sadness, regret on a continual basis will wear you down. It will make you sick.
So besides the stress, you may find you catch the cold or the flu more often. Signs of stress! You may feel tired and fatigued. Also signs of stress. It kind of reflects the entire scenario, doesn’t it? Everyone feels stuck.
There are only a few things that you can control. Can you guess what they are? I’ll give you a minute – don’t scroll down now!
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You can control only yourself. That includes your thoughts, your feelings, your decisions, your actions, and the results you get from those decisions and actions. When you see something and you want to help everyone, a friend of mine called it compassion fatigue. And it sure is, fatiguing. I used to be like that too and now I try to stop myself from throwing myself in there. It’s bad for my health! It’s bad for yours too.
Your parents still remember what it’s like to be independent adults.They deserve that much respect. They are not two year old toddlers who are just learning the ropes of life. So a totally different way must be taken. I know this hurts!
Let them come to you. You can make overtures if you want, but don’t be surprised if they IGNORE you. Even when it looks bad. You might think it’s denial, but they have to find their own way. Just like they always have. Long before you were born and became their son and daughter. Even though, so-called experts want you to sit down and meet with them, please make sure it’s really about them and NOT about you.
As soon as they smell that rat, they’ll run away! Wait for your adult parents to come to you. It will work out better.
We’ll look at the other side of the coin next time…
In the meantime, be well, Be happy, BE YOU!
Dr. Joanny Liu, TCMD, RAc, P.Eng. Dr Joanny Liu “Best Selling Author and founder of Extraordinary Sports Medicine, where we help athletes reverse injury, get back in the game they love and improve their quality of life.” Best selling book at: Heal Your Concussion: How to Quickly and Effectively Get Back in the Game Remember, we’ve got two books about healing concussions in Amazon: Knock OUT Concussions, Heal Your Concussion: 21 Days to Brain Health, and Dr. Joanny’s new book, Heal Your Concussion: How to Quickly and Effectively Get Back in the Game is NOW live on Amazon!
